16 Bitch Pile-up & Sword Heaven - Split LP

Next comes this nearly unlistenable release by two bands with utterly ridiculous names. Sword Heaven would seem to imply some sort of violence worship, a motif to which 16 Bitch Pile-up adds an uncomfortable element of misogyny. Neither theory can be expanded upon based on any element of either band's so-called music.

The album consists of three tracks, the first of which is 15 minutes of something by 16 Bitch Pile-up. Apparently recorded live at someplace called "bld", there is not much going on here but accumulating layers of sounds, ranging from little electric squiggles to something not unlike a jet engine firing far up in the sky. There is little rhythmic dynamism to it, and the cumulative effect is akin to what I imagine a white-noise machine would produce.

This is followed by two tracks by Sword Heaven. The first, "We of the Fucking Mountains" begins with some kind of primordial gurgling accompanied by brushed cymbals and proceeds from there. There is a steady drumbeat of a primitive sort, the bleating of what sounds like some kind of horn, and some truly horrible shrieking. The next track, "7minus1times3" (also known as 18), begins with a very slow beat, some unidentifiable noises, and the kind of vocal sounds I expect would be all too familiar to any phone sex operator. A stringed instrument, probably a guitar, makes its appearance shortly thereafter, along with a sound like that produced when you flick one of those tightly coiled springs that keep a door from gouging the wall. Eventually the tempo increases, and the whole thing devolves into another shrieking mess.

I honestly cannot imagine what kind of person would listen to music like this for fun. Maybe I'd rather not track Mint down after all.